“Self-care isn’t selfish” the quotes on Instagram read.
Well, I can’t say I agree with that.
Self-care is selfish (maybe we just need to shift the way we look at ‘selfish’).
It’s about time we stopped dimming the practice of putting ourselves first and making it out like it’d be wrong to shine the light on what is going to fill up our inner well.
It’s like we’ve turned the act of caring for ourselves into something dirty, something to be guilty of doing, something that only “up themselves” people do.
We are so heavily focused on other people, that these days we put a large portion of our energy, time and thought into giving to others and getting their approval.
Don’t believe me? Well let me ask you:
Have you ever noticed;
You’re always being the person who “supports” but is never “supported”
You are that person in your family/friend circle always saying things like “you should meditate each morning, it’s really great for keeping a calm mind throughout the day”, but you yourself never prioritise it.
You say the words “but what will they think?” more than you commit to things that will serve YOU!
It’s all just a story that you’ve been telling yourself. It’s SO changeable.
One of the main things I focus on through my work of empowering women is the sacredness of prioritising yourself.
And although this self-care craze is being defined in many different ways, in essence, that’s it. Prioritising your mind, body and soul. Putting yourself first and asking “what do I need more of?”
CREATE BOUNDARIES THAT SERVE THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE
Boundaries is the first step in self-care because it truly protects you and your energy and releases anything in your life that is no longer serving you. Boundaries mean that you not only value your time and energy but the people in your life. Which is one of our major concerns caring for ourselves and establishing boundaries: “but what will people say, I’m being rude”. No way, you’re actually creating a more beautiful connection when you do engage with people or say yes to something (it’s much more meaningful).
Creating a boundary is also the biggest act of self-love and self-care you can do. It says “I am not willing to push myself past my capacity and I will ask for what I want and deserve in life”.
PRIORITISE TIME LOVING YOUR BODY
If your relationship with your body isn’t full of love, then there’s no way that the rest of you and your life can be. Think about how treat and speak to and about your body. Is what you’re consuming nourishing your body? Do I enjoy treating myself or do I make myself feel guilty for eating that piece of chocolate cake? Pleasure is part of life and the more you can be aware of your state around food, the more you have the ability to shift it. Guilt gets stored in our bodies, so enjoy the cake beauty!
Movement daily not only sends you all the good endorphins and makes you feel great but it is also a direct message of love to yourself. But set the intention in body movement : I am moving my body because I love it (not to get rid of what I hate).
And remember that self-care time is sacred. So in your morning shower or bath, spend time running your hands over every part of your body and sending it love. Just this small daily ritual can quickly transform your beliefs about your body.
ALLOWING THE QUIET
We live in a 24/7 world. But it’s the news, social media and inconvenient convenience that 24/7, not us. You do not need to place that expectation on yourself. There is an off switch, there’s time for rest and there is quiet. You just need to make it a priority.
One of the most beautiful ways you can care for yourself nowadays is to spend more time switching off and connecting with the quiet. Which means : stop checking your phone as soon as you wake up. You are literally falling straight into the world of other people and negativity until you’ve had a chance to set an intention for the day.
Schedule in time for holding your heart and breathing deeply. Plant your feet in the grass and feel the connection to the Mama. Make space for what you’re really craving… some quiet.
Because it’s in the quiet, it’s in the allowing… that your soul's voice finally gets to be heard.
You’ve been spending so much time sharing your light with others so they’d feel better and be refreshed: but now there’s nothing left for you.
And it’s a sacred and beautiful act to say “I am no longer willing to do that”.
It’s not that you’re not compassionate or loving, or that you’ll never support anyone again… it’s just that the rule is now: “I show up for myself first. And then my cup overflows to those surrounding me.”
Show up for yourself in a deeper way than a bubble bath and getting your nails done.
Your soul is craving you to show up for what you truly need.
Ask yourself: “What do I really need right now?”
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