How to be kind - to yourself and to others.

February 17, 2020

How to be kind - to yourself and to others.

Being kind to yourself and to others, even when it can be tough.


noun: the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

Do you think this word and the meaning around kindness is a simple one? Or a complex one?

Individual views, values, personal expectations and experiences can shape your understanding around this topic and it can look and feel very different to so many people.

To me, it encompasses a whole range of emotions and thoughts and a way of being.

Essentially, for me, it is about living with integrity.

Caring, understanding and showing compassion toward others (and myself!) 

Showing up in an authentic way with my true values shining through.

It is leading and acting from my heart, always with the best intentions.

However, sometimes kindness is difficult. It can mean saying no and disappointing other people {hands up from all my people pleasers}. 

Sometimes you have to respect your own needs and boundaries even if that appears to be unkind to others.

When you act with compassion, integrity and from the heart, I believe even in difficult situations/circumstances your kindness can still be felt by the other person.

What does kindness mean to you? I’d love to hear.

I also believe it’s a skill or attribute that we can all learn and improve on. {Anyone else agree with me on this?}

I encourage you to look for ways throughout your day to spread kindness - small, regular random acts of kindness. Build those kindness muscles {unfortunately my biceps are not nearly as strong}!!

Kindness starts with yourself.


This one is SO important and often overlooked. Show yourself the same kindness as you would your partner, family or best friend. 

Speak in a kind and loving way to yourself even if you have not had the ‘best’ of days.

So what if you didn’t achieve everything you set out to do today? 

So what if you didn’t respond in the most appropriate way to your child or partner? {We’ve all been there and it will happen again!}

Give yourself a break: BE KIND - You’re doing great! 

Isn’t this what you would say to your friend? -  well, the same message applies to you!

Yes, sometimes kindness can mean giving yourself a gentle (or not so gentle aka tough love) push to get off the couch, stop watching Netflix {unless you are watching YOU then I have no idea how you can drag yourself away - anyone else loving this show?} and go and prep for the next day so your morning can be kick-started with a calm and organised morning routine. 

Kindness can take shape in many different forms.


two friends hugging show kindness


Look for opportunities to show kindness when you are out and about. 

Let someone go in front of you in the supermarket queue or let that car who seems to be in a hurry, merge, and give them a friendly wave while you’re at it.

Assist someone with their shopping bags/ trolley if it looks like they could use some help. 

Offer to reach for that object on the high shelf {this is one that I receive often at 5 foot nothing and one that I can’t repay ever in the same way!}

Even giving a genuine and heartfelt smile to a stressed-out mum or dad dealing with children {oh geez I remember those days!}, can make all the difference and it’s so easy to do.

Yes, you could pay for someone’s shopping, coffee, send flowers, leave money on windscreens etc. (these are all lovely and generous things to do) but random acts of kindness do not have to be big, cost money or even take time to plan.

Look out for those simple ways to integrate them into your everyday life. 

It is not superficial if it’s done from your heart space.

You can share kindness towards your friends, employers, work colleagues, children’s teachers, and even businesses.

Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while and remind them why they are so important. 

Send a kind note with your child to their teacher to thank them for all they do. Or if you have a problem that needs addressing, move forward with kindness. Let them know of your concern, and ask for clarification and assistance and go from there.

You could leave a kind comment or review for a business you love {hint, hint, wink, wink}. I know first hand how much this type of ‘kindness’ makes our day! Knowing that someone has taken time out of their day is the best feeling ever!

I hope this has given you a few ideas on ways you can show kindness, whether they are random spontaneous acts or carefully planned out in advance.

Robert, Emily, Jade and I - as a family we look for opportunities to do both on a regular basis. But... you won’t hear us talking about our acts of kindness as that is counter-intuitive. The acts are given from our hearts and that is where they are etched forever... 

It’s such a special thing to do and I’d love to know if you share in acts of kindness as a family or if it’s something that you would like to start doing.

Amanda Churchley Blog Author

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